I don’t watch television. At all. This is not a moralistic tale of voluntary cultural deprivation to better myself as an individual. I watch plenty of TV. I just don’t watch television. I watch everything I’m interested in on my laptop, on my couch, on my schedule.

Until today, there was only one time this wasn’t the case: Saturdays. You see, I’m a transplant from the South. While the rest of the state is working itself into a frenzy over the Cornhuskers, I’m frantically trying to find which station is carrying my beloved Alabama Crimson Tide. Most Saturdays, I get lucky and find the game on my actual television, because the Tide are currently ranked third in the nation. Not today, though. Not in Nebraska.

I’m sure the game was on television East of the Mississippi, but I had to sidle up to my laptop expecting to periodically check the score on ESPN.com. Luckily, that wasn’t the case. Instead, I opened ESPN.com to find that I could watch the entire Alabama game on their new ESPN 360. Not only could I watch Alabama. I could watch dozens of games. And that was just football. As soon as the Crimson Tide rolled over the Wildcats, I watched Barcelona beat Almeria 1-0. That’s right. I switched from live American college football to live European professional futbol in about three seconds. And I never touched my television.

It was great. But while the content was fantastic, the advertising opportunities – from both the “channel” and the brand (yes, singular) on that “channel” – weren’t fully developed. It was as if the ESPN sales guy called a company and said: “Hey, uh, we’ve got this new place to do…something. Maybe run some commercials or something? Cool?” And that company guy said: “Um, cool. I suppose we could…I don’t know…run some commercials or something.” And they did. And it was pretty lame.

So let me point out the obvious to everyone involved. The Internet is not TV. Even when it is TV. Figure that out. When you do and you begin to offer the user (not the viewer) a relevant brand experience (instead of a commercial break), everyone will win.

Until then, the only winner is me. I never have to turn on my television again. Except to annihilate Guitar Hero V. But that’s another blog altogether.